When Your Own Kid Sits in the Room

This blog post comes at a time in our family’s life full of emotion. Our youngest daughter is finishing high school this week. It’s a bittersweet moment for us. I’m thinking back over the past 22 years of parenting our kids and thinking how they have impacted my life and my ministry. So allow me to just encourage you to think deeply with me about how having our own kids in our ministry changes us in the best way possible.

The night everything changed… I’ll never forget it.

It was a regular Wednesday night—until it wasn’t. I stood to preach, Bible in hand, message ready, students settling in. But as I scanned the room, my eyes landed on someone new. Not a first-time guest. Not a leader.

My oldest daughter, sitting quietly in a chair under the same lights where I’ve preached a hundred times. She had just moved out of kids ministry and she was in 6th grade. And in that moment, everything changed.

It wasn’t fear or pressure—it was perspective.

It’s Different When It’s Your Kid

I’ve always taken teaching seriously. I want every student to hear truth, feel seen, and be drawn closer to Jesus. But when your own kid is sitting there—soaking up the same message as the rest—it hits differently.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just thinking about sermon points and illustrations. I was thinking, What is she really hearing?

Is this just clear? Or is it personal?

Would I still say this if it was just her in the room?

And then came the biggest question: Do I live what I’m about to say?

Because when your kid is in the room, there’s no pretending. They know the behind-the-scenes. They’ve seen you stressed. They’ve heard your tone at home. They’re not impressed by polished words—they’re watching for lived-out truth.

Preaching Like a Parent

That night shifted something in me. I started preaching like a dad.

I still prepared like a pastor—still studied, still wrestled with the text, still wanted it to connect. But now, my filter had changed. I asked, Would this help my daughter love Jesus more? Would it challenge her heart, not just her behavior? Is this something I’d want her to remember in college, or on a lonely night, or in a hard friendship?

Preaching like a parent doesn’t water down the gospel—it brings it to life.

The Hidden Gift in the Front Row

Not every pastor gets the chance to minister to their own child. It’s a sacred, sometimes fragile, always humbling gift. If you’re there right now—if your kid is in the room, or coming soon—don’t miss the moment.

Let it soften your heart. Let it shape your tone. Let it remind you that every student is someone’s kid—and that someone is praying they meet Jesus here.

And when your kid asks a question about your message later… or stays quiet but keeps showing up… or challenges something you said with bold teenager honesty—that’s not disrespect. That’s discipleship.

It’ll Change You—in the Best Way

Having your kid in your ministry will keep you honest. It’ll drive you to your knees. It might even wreck your outline sometimes. But it will also make you better.

Because suddenly, you’re not just preaching to students.

You’re preaching for your own.

And that will sharpen your voice, tender your heart, and renew your purpose in ways you never expected.

If you’re navigating the wild, wonderful, and sometimes awkward reality of having your kids in your ministry, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Visit the Fresh Calling Coaching Page for encouragement, strategy, and someone who gets it. Let’s walk this journey together.

Because when your own kid sits in the room… everything changes. And that’s a beautiful thing.