How to Guard Your Heart from Disappointment

What I’ve Learned from Burnout, Heartache, and Holding On

There was a season in ministry where I hit a wall. Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I was worn down—burned out, really. I found myself frustrated, not just by the schedule or the pressure, but by something deeper: disappointment.

I was investing my heart and soul into students. Showing up, listening, praying, teaching, texting, encouraging—giving them everything I had. And still, they made choices that wrecked me.

A kid I discipled for years stopped coming to church. Another one got caught lying. One jumped into a relationship that was clearly unhealthy. And honestly, I thought to myself more than once:
“It would have been better if you just listened to me in the first place.”

I started to feel like a failure. I questioned whether I was actually making a difference. The spiritual weight I was carrying wasn’t mine to carry, but I couldn’t let it go. If you’ve been there, I get it.

So how do we keep our hearts soft and faithful when disappointment hits hard and often? Here are five things I’ve had to learn—sometimes the hard way—so that I could keep going and keep loving students well.

1. I Had to Get the Right Perspective on Spiritual Growth

I expected too much too soon. I confused spiritual knowledge with spiritual maturity, and I got discouraged when students knew the right answers but still made reckless decisions.

But God reminded me—growth is a process. And sanctification is slow. Teenagers are still figuring out who they are, let alone how to follow Jesus with consistency. They’re going to fall. They’re going to forget. They’re going to stumble.

My role isn’t to make them perfect; it’s to walk with them as they figure it out.

2. I Needed to Believe in the End of the Story

I was getting stuck in the middle of students’ stories and assuming it was the ending. I saw their bad choices as final chapters, instead of plot twists in a much longer narrative.

But God sees the whole picture.

The same kid who barely paid attention last year might be leading worship in college. The one who made a mess of their testimony might be the one who helps others rebuild theirs.

I had to start saying, “God’s not done yet,”—not just out loud, but deep in my own heart.

3. I Had to Learn to Pray with Hope

There’s a big difference between venting in prayer and interceding in hope. I did a lot of the first. But the Lord invited me to do more of the second.

When I stopped begging God to “fix them” and started asking Him to form them, my prayers changed. I started praying with expectation instead of just praying out of exhaustion.

And something shifted in me—I started believing again that prayer actually matters.

4. I Needed to Remember: I’m Not the Author

This one hit hard. I was living like I was responsible for every spiritual outcome in my ministry. Every backslide felt personal. Every dropout felt like a failure.

But I’m not the author of their story. God is.

I’m not their Savior. I’m not the Holy Spirit. I’m a guide, a voice, a shepherd. That’s it.

When I finally accepted that my role was obedience—not results—I started sleeping better. My joy came back. My shoulders dropped. And I found peace in simply being faithful.

5. I Had to Start Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection

I was missing the wins. Not the big ones—the salvations or the big baptisms—but the little ones.

A student who started bringing their Bible. A girl who actually sang during worship for the first time. A guy who shared something real in small group instead of hiding behind jokes.

I had to start looking for and celebrating those little indicators of growth. It helped me stay encouraged and kept me from overlooking what God was already doing.

Final Word: Guarded, Not Hardened

When I say “guard your heart,” I don’t mean shut it down or stop caring. I mean tend to it, like a garden. Protect it from bitterness. Water it with truth. Expose it to hope.

I’ve learned that disappointment is part of ministry—but it doesn’t have to define it. When I trust that God is the One writing each student’s story, I can keep showing up, keep loving well, and keep hoping no matter what.

So if you’re feeling that weight right now—if you’re frustrated, heartbroken, or on the edge of burnout—hear me: You are not alone. You are not failing. And God is still working—more than you can see.

Thinking Deeply and Asking Real Questions:

• Where are you carrying spiritual weight that’s not yours to carry?
• Is there a student you’ve written off that you need to start believing for again?
• Which of these five areas needs your attention this week?

This blog post is deeply personal. It’s “real talk.” Not real sure you’re gonna read any like this one. I would LOVE this opportunity to listen to your story. To reflect together on how not guarding your heart can lead to burnout. I would be honored to pray with you about keeping your passion for ministry. Schedule a 1:1 Coaching session. The first one is free… and only $50 after that. We can meet as often as you like.

I’m mindful of you and praying for all of us to guard our hearts well.