Integrity Before Influence

Why the private life of a youth pastor matters more than the platform

I’ve learned something over the years in student ministry: students pay close attention to who we are, not just what we say. They may forget a talk, but they won’t forget a life that models the gospel. That truth weighs on me every time I step into a room with teenagers.

I’m not called to impress students or parents. I’m called to live under the gaze of Christ. James 3:1 reminds us, “Not many should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we will receive a stricter judgment” (CSB). That’s not meant to paralyze me with fear but to keep me mindful of the seriousness of this role.

There are subtle ways compromise creeps in—what we consume online, how we speak in private, where our thoughts drift when nobody’s looking. I’ve seen those cracks form in my own life, and I don’t want to ignore them.

Questions I keep asking myself:
– Does my private life line up with my public ministry?
– Am I guarding my eyes, words, and time with the same diligence I use to prepare a sermon?
– When I’m stressed, do I go to Christ or to distraction?
– Would the people closest to me describe me as the same person in every setting?

These questions aren’t comfortable, but they draw me back to daily disciplines: Scripture, prayer, confession, and honest accountability. Not to earn approval, but because integrity is part of worship.

Youth ministry is more than managing programs or preaching talks; it’s about shepherding souls, starting with our own. I don’t want my life to undercut my message. I want it to reinforce it.

Today, I’m asking God again to form holiness in me. Will you join me? Let’s commit to daily habits of grace, seek accountability, and walk with nothing hidden. Our students need leaders they can trust, and our Lord deserves leaders who walk with Him.

If you’re a youth pastor who feels the weight of this and would like someone to walk alongside you, I offer one-on-one coaching for leaders just like you. Click here to set up a 1-on-1 coaching session with me. The first session is free!