First Love. Part 1.
“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more…” These lyrics from “Haddaway” (yes, that’s a little 80s trivia for ya!) are so catchy and for most of us we can sing it at any given moment. But as you read this lyrics we feel as though this is how love ought to be.. no hurt. Everything is rosey and seems like every moment is written out of a fairy tale. Love doesn’t look like a fairytale! Really!? So, the the girls in the room have this “fairy tale” love story going through our minds and have become hopeless romantics. Love doesn’t look like this in reality. Our world has twisted and skewed the definition of love. Made it romantic and perverted. The perfect definition of love can only be found in the arms of our Father in heaven.
You would think that we will be talking about romantic love in this series… but we’re NOT! We will be talking through what it really means to love others as Christ would love them. When in conflict or “life-changing” events arise, we need to make a choice to love FIRST. When “break ups” happen, and we want to throw the boy out the window! First love… not romantically, but in an agape God love kind of way. When we hear the news of parents getting a divorce… first love! When we get cut off in traffic by an impatient little punk!! First love.
How do you respond to others in your life? Are your words filled with so much sarcasm that your friends can’t tell if your serious or not? Is your heart filled to the top with selfishness that if a stranger came into your life, you wouldn’t give them the time of day!?
First Love. God’s love was at the very beginning. The creation of the world was a motivation of His love toward us. It was His love for us he made a way to deal with the penalty of our sin. It was His love that put Jesus on the cross. It was His love for us that defines who I am and why I was created.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NIV)
He first loved. Love is found in Him. He is the beginning of it. His heart is where love begins. Not in the heart of man, nor in the heart of another. Love begins with Him. He first loved.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 NIV
So convicting! This truth is taking root in my soul and creating a collision of faith!
Collision at the prayer wall.
In our student center we have a prayer wall. Most youth groups have a space where students can freely express their prayer concerns to the rest of the group anonymously. Thursday morning I was passing through and stopped to read some of the requests from Wednesday night. There was one request that captured my attention. “God help me to stay on the path. I don’t like being separated from you.” We’ve been talking over the past few weeks about how our sin separates and the cross bridges the gap our sin has created. My hope as a youth pastor is students would know and believe Jesus is the one true hope! This request broke my heart.
This is a collision of faith for me. I believe this prayer card speaks to my passion and calling as a youth pastor. I genuinely desire for students to find all they need in Christ and my calling is to lead them through the pages of scripture to discover His great love for them. Moments when I cry with a student over the mistakes of the past and leading them to a deep understanding of His grace cause me to dig deeper. Moments like this one at the prayer wall. When I weep over the simple request of this student to experience what a “right” relationship with God is.
There is no greater calling on the planet than to lead others to the Cross. What has been your experience? Have you had moments like mine? Collisions with the reality of the sin in this world and the beautiful grace of the Cross. He is in the business of making all things new. Renewing your heart and mine. Driving us to our knees in humility and burning a passion deep within us for teenagers. This calling is worth all the tears. It’s worth all the sleepless nights and hard conversations. To be used to make an impact in the lives of teenagers. There is no great calling.
I love student ministry.
Separation Anxiety. Desperate to be Reunited. (Part 4)
In the middle of your separation, did you ever have thoughts like this dog? I didn’t think you were ever coming back? I think we see this scenario play out all the time in the hearts of all of us. Our mistakes and bad habits have separated us from God and we have fallen in the belief He will never come back. WRONG! This is not the character of our God.
I was talking with a great friend the other day who is going through a really tough time! He shared a truth with me that has stuck with me. I can’t shake it. I asked him, “How’s it going?” He responded, “I’m doing ok. I’ve learned two things through all this. He is good. He is present.”
Wow!! How true. No matter where or what I’m going through in life, my God is good and present. Separation anxiety can cause a lot of doubt to rise up within our hearts. Many times, we lose focus and begin to believe we are not worth redemption. God stands ready to make Himself known to us. Eliminating all doubt and confusion. He is constant. Never changing. I don’t know about you, but this truth is settling my anxious heart and I can’t shake it. Even as I type it, my heart instantly settles down with a peace.
My friend is really going through a storm in his life right now and the truth he is learning and shared with me is making an impact. Maybe, if you are finding yourself in the mist of separation, this truth will impact you too.
Separation Anxiety. Desperate to be Reunited. (Part 1)
The distance between… I’d like to describe it as “anxiety.” Its the feeling of being separated from the one’s we love. When I was in high school, my father who was serving in the Air Force was called up to go to Kuwait… 6 weeks before the war became public. All I remember was a kiss on the forehead in the early morning hours. When I woke up, my mom told my brother and I he “had to leave.” For the next 6 weeks we didn’t know where he was. Just vanished. When all the news began to break about Desert Storm, we got a fuzzy phone call from my dad telling us where he was, and that he was not in harms way.
During these anxious 6 weeks of separation, my heart was filled with a constant tension. I wanted to know where he was, if he was hurting, I just wanted to be in his presence again. I knew in these moments what it feels like to be genuinely separated from the one you love.
Cleaned out a closet and had a collision
Our HSM intern and I spent half the day moving in to our new student center this afternoon. We spent a lot time and effort prepping for Sunday. Clean out and setting up one of our closests. Its amazing what youth pastors hold on to… we a bunch of pack rats! I broke a sweat two times today, but as I worked I was very mindful of why we were working so hard.
There is so much we do as youth pastors behind the scenes. Cleaning closest. Setting up chairs so there are no bad seats in the house. We sit through countless student band practices wondering if they will ever “get it.” We stick around after the students have left to clean up so the church lady doesn’t yell at you. “Why cant you keep those teenagers under control.” And, we spend extra time browsing DYM to download the perfect sermon for next Wednesday night. (downloadyouthministry.com) Why? Because deep down we want to see students respond to Christ. Life change. But, being a youth pastor goes far beyond the stage.
I love Wednesday nights. It’s my opportunity to shepherd the flock. To share the truth God has given me. Admittedly, we have the big sound and lights. It’s real easy to fall in to the rock star, American idol, type of reality. But, I’m reminded every time I step on that stage… “He must increase and I must decrease.” We have a bunch of impressionable teenagers thinking you’re the coolest adult on the planet… But what they don’t know is you just walked on the stage with your fly down. So, how do I combat this temptation. I hang out with the interns and clean a closets.
Authentic collisions of faith happen when youth pastors humble themselves and recognize their place is to serve, teach, and connect students to the love of Christ. The big question is… Are your students admiring your dynamic personality or the reality of Christ in you?
Cross Service Collisions
Last wednesday night we had our annual Cross Service. It’s an event we put a lot of effort in to. The night is filled with stations students are led through. Shred your sins, Lord’s Supper Table, Prayer request wall, Art-deco experience, Feet washing, and the Passion of Christ video loop. We place a giant cross in the middle of our youth room and engage students with the reality of His Love for us. Our theme for this years Cross Service was, “His light in Me.”
There were so many collisions happening at one time. When students write out their sins, seek the Lord’s forgiveness and then place the card in a shredder… collision! When students have the opportunity to minister to each other by washing their feet… collision! As they begin to pray for each other, tears of joy fill their eyes… collision! It’s a night when real faith and real life collide!
I love engaging students around the cross. Hebrews 12:2 encourages us to “fix our eyes of Jesus” and we intentionally create moments for students to practically gaze their attention upon Jesus. I would love to hear how you engage students to fix their eyes on Jesus?
We love the Cross Service simply because of the many collisions that happen! I love youth ministry!!!
I had a Collision this morning
Last week a high school student in our community passed away very tragically. Although he was not a member of our church, many of his friends were. Many of his friends were drawn to worship with us this morning. It is a tough situation for family and friends to navigate, but it was a beautiful collision of real life and faith.
After our service was over, we gathered all the students and parents effected by the tragedy to the altar for prayer. During our brief moment of prayer, we had the opportunity to give hope! Hope found only in Christ. In the middle of tears and painful guilt, the light of Christ was made known. The Lord divinely placed our church/ ministry in the middle of a beautiful collision of real life and faith. We had several conversations and prayed with many of these students right after we prayed as a group. Students were asking the hard questions, wrestling with their guilt, and looking for hope. Once again, ministry is happening in the midst of a collision of real life and faith. “Why would God allow this to happen?” “Why didn’t God answer my prayer?” “I should have said something!”
No one wants to lose a loved one or a dear friend… We grieve and hurt just as much as the students and family do. But even in the middle of the confusion, the hard questions and the deep hurt, there is a God who deeply desires to be in the middle of it all. Revealing His hope and peace. This is where God is calling us to be. A ray of hope in midst of despair, hurt and questions. We are the beacon of hope.
I’m hurting today and will be journeying through these days of visitations and funerals hoping to be a source of hope for these students. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
Are you committed to the journey too?
Husband, Dad, Youth Pastor, Writer
Fresh Calling: Ministry Coaching and Consulting 
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