This blog post is real and raw. Nothing generated or fake… my honest thoughts about the state of student ministry and the role of the youth pastor. It’s the beginning of series of blog posts answering questions about student ministry from a seasoned youth pastor perspective.

I’m often asked: “How has student ministry changed over the 30 years you’ve been a part of it?” My seasoned response? A lot.

When I started out, ministry to teenagers was simpler in many ways. The biggest issues I encountered were breakups, friendship drama, or the occasional bad decision that made its way into the spotlight. Those things were important, of course, and I spent many late nights on the phone or at the local diner listening to students sort through life. But looking back, the weight that teenagers carried was lighter than what I see today.

Now, the issues pressing on students are heavier, and they come at them from all directions. I regularly sit with students battling anxiety or depression. Some are questioning their identity or trying to process a world that feels unstable. Others are drowning in loneliness while living in constant connection online. The struggles are more intense, the wounds are deeper, and the questions are harder. Fun and games are still part of ministry—and they should be—but if that’s all we offer, we are leaving students without real help for the real battles they face.

Another shift I’ve seen is in parents. Thirty years ago, most parents—whether or not they were deeply spiritual—were at least actively engaged in their children’s lives. They wanted to know who their kids were with, what they were doing, and how they were growing. These days, I find many parents are distracted, tired, or caught up in the same digital fog as their children. Smartphones and social media have stolen time, focus, and presence from the home. And yet, Scripture is clear: “Repeat [these words] to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:7, CSB). The role of teaching and modeling faith belongs first to parents, but when they disengage, the responsibility often shifts to the church in ways it was never meant to.

But perhaps the biggest change I’ve noticed is in the way churches themselves view student ministry. When I began, the expectation was that a youth pastor was, first and foremost, a shepherd. My job wasn’t just to preach or to plan; it was to know students personally, walk with them, and invest in their faith. Somewhere along the way, many churches began to prize charisma over consistency. They looked for gifted communicators who could draw a crowd, leaders who could create momentum, and personalities who could keep students entertained. Those aren’t bad qualities, but if they replace the heart of a shepherd, something essential is lost.

Jesus doesn’t describe the good shepherd as flashy. He says, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11, CSB). That is not a description of performance, but of presence. It’s about sacrifice, patience, and faithfulness. And Peter echoes this when he exhorts leaders: “Shepherd God’s flock among you… not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2–3, CSB). Shepherding is relational. It’s not always noticed by the crowd, but it’s always noticed by the sheep.

I remember one student early in my ministry who constantly tested my patience. He skipped small group, acted up during teaching, and pushed boundaries every chance he got. Honestly, there were times I wanted to give up on him. But the more time I spent with him outside the church walls—at his games, grabbing a burger, or just talking after school—the more I realized that what he needed wasn’t another sermon. He needed someone to stay. Years later, he told me, “I don’t remember much of what you taught, but I remember you were there.” That is shepherding. And that is what’s in danger of being lost.

A lot has changed in student ministry over the past thirty years. The issues are bigger, the culture is louder, and the distractions are everywhere. But the calling hasn’t changed. Students still need shepherds who will walk with them through the valleys and point them to Jesus. They don’t need perfection; they need presence. They don’t need another program; they need people who love them enough to lay down their lives in service.

My seasoned response is this: student ministry looks different than it used to, but the call of the shepherd is as urgent as ever. My prayer is that God would raise up leaders who care more about faithfulness than flash, more about discipleship than numbers, and more about being with students than being noticed by the crowd. Because in the end, what will make the lasting difference is not how impressive we look but how faithfully we shepherd the flock entrusted to us.

Want to hear the answer to another question about student ministry from a seasoned youth pastor? Comment below and I’ll do my best to answer it in another blog post.