Believe the Best!
by Steve Spence
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in student ministry, it’s this: the emotional and spiritual rollercoaster ride of teenagers can jade even the most seasoned youth pastor if we’re not careful. It’s not the big crises that get us—it’s the steady drip of drama, disappointment, and decisions that make us wonder, Are they even listening? And if we’re not intentional, bitterness can start to settle in like a fog.
But I’ve made a choice in ministry that has saved my heart more times than I can count: I choose to believe the best about my students.
For me, believing the best starts with showing up face-to-face. I value real conversation far more than what scrolls across my feed. I made a commitment a long time ago not to depend on social media for “the tea.” If something is truly important to a student—if it’s heavy, confusing, life-altering, or overwhelming—they’ll tell me when they’re ready. I don’t need their posts to shape my opinion of them or steal my compassion before I even walk into the room.
And honestly? I don’t want to start ministry conversations already annoyed at them because of something they posted at 1:17 AM on a Tuesday.
Instead, I try to use my words to speak life every time I’m with them. You and I both know how rarely students hear encouragement—real encouragement—from the adults in their world. So when I get the chance, I call out the good I see in them. I tell them who they are, not just what they did. I remind them of the identity God is forming in them, not just the struggle they’re stuck in right now. When I speak life, it changes the way I see them… and it often changes the way they see themselves.
Believing the best also means celebrating every win I can find. Big wins, small wins, “you-actually-turned-in-your-homework-on-time” wins—I’ll take them all. I want my students to know I’m paying attention to their progress, not just their problems. Somewhere along the line, I realized that when I cheer for the small things, students start trusting me with the big things.
I’ve also learned to ask curious questions—questions that dig a little deeper than the surface but still communicate care instead of interrogation. Questions like, “What’s been the hardest part of this for you?” or “What are you hoping will happen next?” or “How can I walk with you in this?” When we approach them with curiosity rather than judgment, they can tell. And it matters.
But ultimately, believing the best is really about believing what God wants to do in them through whatever season they’re walking in. Not ignoring their sin. Not pretending they aren’t making choices that worry us. Not putting our heads in the sand. But remembering that God isn’t finished with them… and He isn’t frustrated with the process.
Youth pastor, don’t let bitterness steal the joy of what God has called you to do. Don’t let disappointment dictate the way you shepherd. Believe the best—not because your students always get it right, but because God is always at work. And that is always worth believing in.
If you’re finding yourself wrestling with bitterness, frustration, or compassion fatigue in this season of ministry, you don’t have to walk through it alone. I’d love to help you process it, pray with you, and encourage you toward healthier rhythms. I’m offering a free first-time, one-on-one coaching session through Fresh Calling—no pressure, no agenda, just space for you to breathe and be heard. If you want to talk, let’s set something up.
Have a Plan
by Steve Spence
This is part three in our series dealing with the devotional life of the youth pastor.
There’s something I’ve learned over the years about my walk with Jesus: if I don’t plan it, it probably won’t happen. I don’t drift into spiritual health. I don’t accidentally fall into the Word. And I’m guessing you don’t either. Ministry is loud. Student ministry is really loud. If we aren’t intentional about carving out a moment—just one planned, protected moment—to be in God’s Word every single day, that moment will get swallowed up by the chaos around us.
So here’s point number one: Have a plan each day.
I’ve talked to so many youth pastors who love Jesus dearly but feel spiritually dry, scattered, or inconsistent. And when we peel back the layers, most of the time there’s simply no daily plan. Not because they don’t care. Not because they’re lazy. But because they’re getting jumped by the day instead of stepping into the day with direction.
For me, planning my daily time with the Lord is as non-negotiable as brushing my teeth. I know that sounds simple, but it’s been a game changer. I look at my day and decide when I’m meeting with Him—before the kids wake up, before emails, before the “urgent” squeezes out the “important.” And once that time is set, I protect it like it’s oxygen. Because honestly, it is.
But having a planned time isn’t enough. You also need a planned approach.
A lot of youth pastors ask me, “Steve, what do you actually do during your quiet time?” And my answer always starts here: Have a plan for what you’re reading. Not a random verse of the day. Not flipping to the same encouraging passages over and over. Not just camping out in the New Testament because it feels easier. No—have a plan that gets you into the whole counsel of God.
Every year—yes, every single year—I read through the entire Bible. I’m not saying that to give myself a gold star. I’m saying it because it’s changed me. It’s anchored me. It’s strengthened me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. I switch between the Chronological Bible reading plan and the One Year Bible reading plan. Both are fantastic. Both keep me rooted in Scripture beyond just the parts I naturally gravitate toward.
A reading plan gives you structure. It keeps you moving. It helps you see the story of God unfold—not just a verse here or there, but the full narrative of His faithfulness from Genesis to Revelation. And when you build your devotional life around the full story of Scripture, your soul starts receiving the nutrients it’s been craving.
And let me be clear about something that trips up a lot of youth pastors: your devotional time is not your sermon prep time.
You need both.
They aren’t the same.
Sermon prep is ministry work. Your devotional time is ministry life. One feeds others. The other feeds you. Don’t confuse the two or you’ll dry up faster than you think. Your daily devotional time is simply your planned connection with God. Not for content. Not for students. Not for Sunday. For you and Him.
So here’s my encouragement: if you want to grow in your own walk, if you want to be spiritually steady, if you want to lead students from a place of overflow rather than exhaustion—make a plan. A plan for your day, and a plan for the Word.
Because you can’t be spiritually healthy accidentally.
You’re too called for that.
Your students need more than a spiritually malnourished leader.
And God is ready to meet you—every day—if you’ll plan to meet with Him.
Let’s be youth pastors who don’t just talk about devotion…
Let’s plan for it.
And then live it.
If you’re a youth pastor who’s struggling to build consistency in your devotional life—or you just need someone in your corner cheering you on—I’d love to walk with you. Through Fresh Calling, I help youth pastors develop rhythms, clarity, and confidence in their daily walk with Jesus and their ministry leadership.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
If you want to talk, process, or take the next step, reach out through FreshCalling.org/coaching. I’d be honored to connect.
Write It Out
by Steve Spence
This is part two in a three part series in dealing with the personal devotional life of the youth pastor.
Journaling has become one of the most grounding parts of my quiet time with the Lord. It didn’t start that way. In fact, for a long time I resisted it. I didn’t want to feel like I was keeping a diary or trying to write something that sounded “spiritual.” But over time, I realized that journaling isn’t about creating a record for others to read—it’s about creating space for God to speak and for me to process what He’s already doing in my heart.
Most of us in ministry spend a lot of time talking—teaching, counseling, leading meetings, or planning events. We’re used to putting words out into the world. But writing things down is different. It slows you down. It forces you to think, to reflect, to actually notice what’s happening beneath the surface. That’s where journaling has become such a valuable rhythm for me. It gives shape to the quiet moments with God that I might otherwise rush through or forget.
When I sit down in the morning with my coffee and Bible, I open my journal right beside it. I don’t worry about having perfect handwriting or polished thoughts. I simply start writing what’s on my heart—sometimes it’s a prayer, sometimes it’s a reflection from what I just read, and sometimes it’s just a list of what’s weighing on me that day. There’s something freeing about putting thoughts on paper. It helps me see what’s been lingering in the background of my mind, especially the emotions and questions I might not have noticed in the busyness of ministry.
Here’s what I’ve learned: journaling doesn’t have to be formal. You don’t need a structure or a clever system. You don’t even have to write in full sentences. Some days I jot down a few bullet points or short prayers. Other days I fill pages. What matters isn’t how it looks—it’s that you’re honest. Think of it as writing to God. You’re letting Him into your thought process, not cleaning it up for presentation.
Another thing I’d say is—get a good journal. Not a yellow legal pad. Something that feels personal and lasting. There’s something about the physical act of opening a journal, seeing where you’ve been, and noticing what God’s been teaching you over time. I can flip back through mine and see answered prayers, recurring themes, or even seasons where I was struggling more than I realized. That perspective helps me stay grounded and grateful.
Journaling has also become one of the healthiest ways I process what I experience in ministry. When you carry the weight of people’s stories, disappointments, or even your own discouragement, those things need a place to go. Writing them out before the Lord helps me surrender them instead of carrying them silently. It’s like exhaling the things that have built up inside and making room for His peace to fill that space.
If you’re hesitant to start, just begin small. A few lines each morning or at the end of the day. Write about what made you thankful, what made you anxious, or what you sensed God saying. Over time, you’ll find your rhythm.
For me, journaling has become more than a habit—it’s a form of prayer. It’s where I talk honestly with God and where He often reminds me of who He is and what He’s doing. So grab a journal, open it up, and write it out. You might be surprised at how much healing and clarity flows from putting pen to paper in the presence of the Lord.
I’d love to hear how journaling has shaped your walk with God or helped you process ministry life. What rhythms or practices have been meaningful for you lately? Comment below or connect with me through freshcalling.org—I always enjoy hearing from other leaders walking this same road. Let’s keep growing and learning together.
Let HIM talk
By Steve Spence
This is part one of a three part series dealing with the personal devotional life of the youth pastor.
There’s a point in ministry when the noise just gets too loud. I’m not just talking about the laughter of students or the energy of a Wednesday night—I mean the inner noise. The hum that never seems to stop. The planning, the pressure, the need to keep producing. It’s that noise that so easily crowds out the voice of God.
For me, I’ve had to learn—slowly and sometimes painfully—how to be still before the Lord. The spiritual discipline of silence and solitude didn’t come naturally. Honestly, it used to make me uncomfortable. Sitting in silence felt unproductive, and solitude felt like a waste of time when there was always something to do. But over the years, I’ve realized that if I don’t make space to listen, I’ll start leading from noise instead of from the voice of God.
Every morning, I try to spend about 30 to 45 minutes in silence before the Lord. No music, no agenda—just quiet. It’s not perfect. Some days my mind runs wild with intrusive thoughts or the list of things I need to do. When that happens, I’ve learned to ask the Holy Spirit to redirect my thoughts—to fill them with truth about who God is, who I am in Him, and what He’s doing in my life and ministry. It’s a daily battle, but one worth fighting.
When I take spiritual retreats, one of my favorite places to practice silence and solitude is in Telluride, Colorado. There’s something about those mountains that recalibrates my soul. And if we ever end up at the beach—Destin, Florida, especially—you’ll probably find me in a chair by the water, just listening to the waves. No headphones. No distractions. Just letting my thoughts settle and my heart rest in His presence. In those moments, I’m reminded that God is speaking; I just need to quiet down long enough to hear Him.
Jesus modeled this rhythm so well. Mark 1:35 says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, He got up, went out, and made His way to a deserted place; and there He was praying.” Even with crowds waiting and needs pressing, Jesus withdrew to be alone with the Father. He knew that silence and solitude weren’t luxuries—they were necessities.
Psalm 46:10 simply says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” That’s it. Be still. Stop striving. Let Him talk.
I’ve come to believe that silence and solitude aren’t escapes from ministry—they’re what sustain it. They anchor my soul to the One who called me. They remind me that I’m not the center of the story, just a participant in God’s work.
So maybe this week, find your own version of Telluride or Destin. It could be a quiet corner of your house, a park bench, or a drive without the radio. Wherever it is, carve out time to be still. Let your thoughts slow down. Let your heart settle. And let Him talk.
If you’re a youth pastor who feels the noise closing in, I’d love to walk alongside you. Through Fresh Calling, I help leaders rediscover rhythms that renew the heart and sustain the soul. You don’t have to lead from exhaustion. Let’s create space together to hear from the One who called you. Click here to set up a coaching session with Steve. (The first one is free!)
It’s Not Meant to Be Scary!!
by Steve Spence
For some youth pastors, fear slips in quietly. It’s not the kind that jumps out and startles you — it’s the kind that lingers in your thoughts after a long night of ministry. You wonder if what you’re doing really matters, if the students are growing, or if you’re still the right person for this role.
Ministry can stir up those kinds of questions. It’s full of change, emotion, and expectations. But fear was never meant to be part of the job. God called you into this work, and that calling hasn’t faded. Philippians 1:6 reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” That truth holds steady when your confidence doesn’t.
Most of the fear we carry comes from forgetting who’s responsible for the results. God didn’t ask us to prove ourselves — He asked us to stay faithful. When fear starts shaping how you think or lead, it helps to slow down and remember that your confidence doesn’t come from how the ministry looks. It comes from the God who called you to it.
If you’ve been feeling uncertain or anxious about where you stand, here are a few small but steady ways to find your footing again:
- Talk honestly with God about your fears. Don’t rush through it. Tell Him what feels heavy or unclear. Naming your fears before Him helps them lose their grip.
- Read something that reminds you why you love ministry. Whether it’s a passage of Scripture, a book, or an old journal entry, give yourself a reminder of what God has already done.
- Spend time with people who refresh your faith. Not everyone understands the weight of ministry. A trusted friend, mentor, or another pastor can help you see things more clearly.
- Step away from comparison. Measuring yourself against other ministries only fuels insecurity. Focus on the students and leaders God has placed in front of you.
- Find one moment of joy each week. A conversation with a student, a laugh with your volunteers, or an answered prayer — let those moments remind you that God is at work.
- Rest without guilt. Taking care of your soul isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way of staying healthy for the long haul.
Fear may still come around from time to time, but it doesn’t have to shape how you lead. The same God who called you will finish what He started — in your students and in you.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to stay close to the One who does.
If you’ve been walking through a season of uncertainty and would like to process what God’s doing in your ministry, click here to set up a one-on-one coaching session. You don’t have to lead through fear alone.
Ministering Through a Tough Season
by Steve Spence
Every pastor faces seasons that feel heavy—when the excitement has faded, energy is low, and ministry feels more like endurance than joy. Sometimes it’s because of disappointment, conflict, burnout, or simply the weight of unmet expectations. Ministry doesn’t always go the way we hoped or prayed it would, and when things get tough, it’s easy to wonder if we’re doing something wrong or if we’re even making a difference.
Psalm 42:11 (CSB) says, “Why, my soul, are you so dejected? Why are you in such turmoil? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Even the psalmist felt the weight of discouragement but refused to let it define his faith. Seasons of struggle are not signs of failure—they are invitations to press deeper into dependence on God.
When I find myself walking through a tough season, I’ve learned a few simple but necessary steps that help me stay grounded:
First, I spend intentional time with the Lord to keep my emotions in check. When my heart feels restless, I don’t rush past it—I bring it to Him. Prayer in those moments becomes less about fixing the situation and more about letting God realign my heart with His peace.
Second, I seek an outside perspective. Sometimes it takes another set of eyes to help you see clearly when the fog of ministry sets in. Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life.”Wise counsel brings clarity and stability when emotions try to take over.
Finally, I do what I can to stop writing stories in my head about the situation. It’s easy to assume motives, fill in blanks, and create narratives that may not be true. The enemy loves to amplify those lies in seasons of weakness. Romans 12:18reminds us, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Sometimes that means choosing grace over assumptions and peace over reaction.
But here’s what I’ve had to learn the hard way: a tough season doesn’t mean you’re done. Most of us don’t respond well to hard things—especially in ministry. When the pressure builds and the results don’t show, discouragement can quietly grow into depression, anxiety, or a paralyzing fear of failure. Those moments can feel like pits that swallow your joy and passion. That’s why awareness matters. If you sense that happening, it’s okay to slow down, talk to someone, or take a break. You’re not weak for needing rest—you’re wise for recognizing it. God still has purpose for you, even in the hard places.
Every pastor will face tough seasons—it’s part of leading and loving people in a broken world. But those seasons don’t define your calling; they refine it. They strip away self-reliance and remind us that ministry has always been about Him, not us.
When ministry feels heavy, remember—your worth isn’t tied to outcomes, attendance, or approval. It’s anchored in the One who called you and promised to finish the work He began in you.
If you’re walking through a tough season and need someone to talk with about it, I’d love to connect. Click the link to set up a one-on-one coaching session. Sometimes all it takes is a conversation to help you find clarity, perspective, and hope again.
Recapturing Your Joy
by Steve Spence
Somewhere between planning sermons, counseling students, organizing events, and keeping up with parents’ texts, many youth pastors quietly lose something essential—joy. You didn’t mean to. You still love Jesus, and you still care deeply for students, but ministry has slowly become more about managing than ministering. If that’s where you are today, you’re not alone. But the good news is—you can get your joy back.
Joy isn’t something we manufacture; it’s something we protect and refresh. Paul told the Philippians, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4, CSB). That wasn’t just a suggestion—it was a lifeline. Ministry joy flows from the presence of Jesus, but it’s often rekindled through small, intentional choices that renew your heart and perspective.
Here are a few ways to recapture your joy in ministry this month:
Rekindle the Spark
- Recruit new leaders. Fresh faces bring new energy. Invite someone younger or different than you to join the team. Their excitement might just reignite yours.
- Change up your midweek format. Do something unexpected. Cancel your usual program and plan a night of games, worship, or student testimonies. Sometimes joy returns when you stop trying so hard to “get it right.”
- Delegate a responsibility. Give away a task that drains you and let a volunteer own it. Empowering others lightens your load and multiplies your impact.
Refocus Your Heart
- Spend your day off with your spouse or family. Ministry is not meant to steal your joy at home. Schedule something fun, unplug completely, and laugh a lot.
- Go on a prayer walk. Not for your next message—just to talk with Jesus. Ask Him to restore the “why” behind what you do.
- Read a Gospel slowly. Get back to the simplicity of Jesus’ presence and mission. Let His words renew your purpose.
Refresh Your Perspective
- Grab coffee with another youth pastor. Swap stories, share struggles, and pray for each other. Sometimes the most healing thing is realizing you’re not the only one who feels worn out.
- Attend a conference or retreat. Don’t just go for content—go for connection. Worship with others who understand the weight of what you carry. Let God speak to you before you speak to students again.
- Celebrate small wins. A student reading their Bible. A volunteer showing up early. A parent saying thanks. Write them down and thank God for the evidence of His work.
I do most of these pretty often. They are all life-giving, ministry-sustaining activities. Joy doesn’t always return overnight, but it grows when you give God room to restore it. Don’t settle for surviving ministry—step into enjoying it again. You were never meant to fake joy to serve Jesus; you were meant to find joy in serving Him.
One more thing: if you’re feeling dry, don’t go it alone. Click to set up a 1-on-1 coaching session through Fresh Calling—let’s talk about how to help you lead with joy again.
A Seasoned Response: How the Church–Family Partnership Has Shifted—and How We Can “Get It Right”
Last week a friend commented on the blog and asked me, “As a youth pastor of 30+ years, how have you seen the partnership between the church and families change over the years? And what does it look like to ‘get it right’ when you’re trying to encourage parents to emphasize the discipleship and spiritual growth of their own teenagers?”
It’s a good question!. Over the decades I’ve watched parents shift from seeing themselves as the primary disciplers of their kids to seeing the church as the main spiritual driver. They still bring their kids to services, camps, and events, but conversations about faith rarely happen at home. Many even carry a quiet sense of regret: “It’s too late for me. I’ve messed up too much to be a godly influence, but at least I can get my kids to church.” That mentality is understandable but heartbreaking, because God still wants to use parents—no matter their past—as the most significant spiritual voice in their teenagers’ lives. When that’s missing, the partnership between church and families stops feeling like a true partnership and starts feeling counterproductive.
Scripture paints a very different picture. Deuteronomy 6:5–7 (CSB) says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” God’s design has always been for parents to lead their children spiritually—not just to take them to church but to weave conversations about Him into daily life. The church was never meant to replace the home but to reinforce it.
So what does it look like to “get it right” as a youth pastor? After three decades of walking with students and families, here’s what I’ve learned:
- Be faithful to your calling. We are called to shepherd this generation, to lead them first to the feet of Jesus and then toward their families. Our role isn’t to replace parents but to walk alongside them and model what discipleship looks like.
- Clarify the partnership. Don’t assume parents understand your role or their own. Spell it out: “Here is my plan for partnering with you to help you disciple your kids.” Share resources, start conversations, and invite them into the process.
- Lead with grace and kindness. Many parents feel overwhelmed or guilty about not doing “enough.” Rather than shaming them, open doors. Encourage small, practical steps—like reading Scripture together once a week, or asking their student one spiritual question at dinner.
- Keep pointing everyone to Jesus. Parents, students, and youth workers all need the same thing: time at the feet of Christ. The healthier our own walk with Him, the better we’ll shepherd others.
When we as youth pastors stay faithful to this vision, we begin to see glimpses of what God intended—a church that supports families, families that disciple their kids, and students who grow up knowing Jesus is real not just at church but at home. That’s the partnership Scripture calls us to, and even in a culture of busy schedules and divided attention, it’s still possible when we stay patient, intentional, and prayerful.
A Word to Parents
If you’re a parent reading this, please know: you are not behind. You’re not “too late.” Your influence matters more than you realize. You don’t need a seminary degree to disciple your teenager—you just need a willing heart, a listening ear, and a desire to bring Jesus into the everyday moments. Ask a simple spiritual question at dinner. Pray together before school. Read a short passage of Scripture once a week. Small, faithful steps create a lifelong ripple effect. And as you take those steps, your church is here to walk with you, cheer for you, and pray alongside you.
What questions do you have that you would like a seasoned veteran to answer? Leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer it in the next blog post. Consider subscribing to the blog and sharing it with a friend.
A Seasoned Response: How has youth ministry changed over the past 30 years?
This blog post is real and raw. Nothing generated or fake… my honest thoughts about the state of student ministry and the role of the youth pastor. It’s the beginning of series of blog posts answering questions about student ministry from a seasoned youth pastor perspective.
I’m often asked: “How has student ministry changed over the 30 years you’ve been a part of it?” My seasoned response? A lot.
When I started out, ministry to teenagers was simpler in many ways. The biggest issues I encountered were breakups, friendship drama, or the occasional bad decision that made its way into the spotlight. Those things were important, of course, and I spent many late nights on the phone or at the local diner listening to students sort through life. But looking back, the weight that teenagers carried was lighter than what I see today.
Now, the issues pressing on students are heavier, and they come at them from all directions. I regularly sit with students battling anxiety or depression. Some are questioning their identity or trying to process a world that feels unstable. Others are drowning in loneliness while living in constant connection online. The struggles are more intense, the wounds are deeper, and the questions are harder. Fun and games are still part of ministry—and they should be—but if that’s all we offer, we are leaving students without real help for the real battles they face.
Another shift I’ve seen is in parents. Thirty years ago, most parents—whether or not they were deeply spiritual—were at least actively engaged in their children’s lives. They wanted to know who their kids were with, what they were doing, and how they were growing. These days, I find many parents are distracted, tired, or caught up in the same digital fog as their children. Smartphones and social media have stolen time, focus, and presence from the home. And yet, Scripture is clear: “Repeat [these words] to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:7, CSB). The role of teaching and modeling faith belongs first to parents, but when they disengage, the responsibility often shifts to the church in ways it was never meant to.
But perhaps the biggest change I’ve noticed is in the way churches themselves view student ministry. When I began, the expectation was that a youth pastor was, first and foremost, a shepherd. My job wasn’t just to preach or to plan; it was to know students personally, walk with them, and invest in their faith. Somewhere along the way, many churches began to prize charisma over consistency. They looked for gifted communicators who could draw a crowd, leaders who could create momentum, and personalities who could keep students entertained. Those aren’t bad qualities, but if they replace the heart of a shepherd, something essential is lost.
Jesus doesn’t describe the good shepherd as flashy. He says, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11, CSB). That is not a description of performance, but of presence. It’s about sacrifice, patience, and faithfulness. And Peter echoes this when he exhorts leaders: “Shepherd God’s flock among you… not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Peter 5:2–3, CSB). Shepherding is relational. It’s not always noticed by the crowd, but it’s always noticed by the sheep.
I remember one student early in my ministry who constantly tested my patience. He skipped small group, acted up during teaching, and pushed boundaries every chance he got. Honestly, there were times I wanted to give up on him. But the more time I spent with him outside the church walls—at his games, grabbing a burger, or just talking after school—the more I realized that what he needed wasn’t another sermon. He needed someone to stay. Years later, he told me, “I don’t remember much of what you taught, but I remember you were there.” That is shepherding. And that is what’s in danger of being lost.
A lot has changed in student ministry over the past thirty years. The issues are bigger, the culture is louder, and the distractions are everywhere. But the calling hasn’t changed. Students still need shepherds who will walk with them through the valleys and point them to Jesus. They don’t need perfection; they need presence. They don’t need another program; they need people who love them enough to lay down their lives in service.
My seasoned response is this: student ministry looks different than it used to, but the call of the shepherd is as urgent as ever. My prayer is that God would raise up leaders who care more about faithfulness than flash, more about discipleship than numbers, and more about being with students than being noticed by the crowd. Because in the end, what will make the lasting difference is not how impressive we look but how faithfully we shepherd the flock entrusted to us.
Want to hear the answer to another question about student ministry from a seasoned youth pastor? Comment below and I’ll do my best to answer it in another blog post.
The Quiet Drift Toward Selfish Ambition
I didn’t notice it at first. It started small—snapping a quick photo of an event for the ministry page, posting a recap video after camp. No big deal, right? But then I caught myself thinking about how many likes it got. I wondered if other youth pastors would notice. Before long, the win wasn’t just about students meeting Jesus. It was about the post that followed.
Ezekiel 34 hit me in the gut the first time I read it with fresh eyes this week:
“Woe to the shepherds of Israel who have been feeding themselves! Shouldn’t the shepherds feed their flock?”
God wasn’t vague. He didn’t say, “Hey guys, just remember to balance self-care with shepherding.” No. He said woe—a word that signals serious trouble. Why? Because the people He loved were starving, and the leaders were full.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: selfish ambition in ministry doesn’t usually announce itself. It creeps in. We tell ourselves it’s about reaching more people, building influence, “expanding the Kingdom.” But underneath, there’s a part of us that wants validation, applause, maybe even envy.
And social media? It pours gas on that fire. You start measuring success by engagement instead of transformation. You feel pressure to make everything “Instagrammable,” even sacred moments that should never be staged. Slowly, the flock becomes a backdrop for our personal brand.
God’s heart for shepherds hasn’t changed. He still expects us to feed His sheep, to know their names, to sit with them in their mess. Students don’t need a celebrity; they need a shepherd who will show up when no one is watching.
If I’m honest, this isn’t just theory for me. I’ve had to ask myself hard questions:
- Would I still lead with the same passion if nobody ever saw it?
- Am I preparing messages for likes—or because students desperately need truth?
- If my platform disappeared tomorrow, would my ministry collapse?
Here’s what I know: God can raise up another shepherd in a heartbeat. I don’t want Him to look at me and say, “You were too busy feeding yourself.” I want to be found faithful, even in the hidden places.
If this stirs something in you, don’t ignore it. I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to lead with pure motives in a world that rewards performance. If you need someone to process this with, I’d love to help. Let’s set up a coaching session and work through it together.
Husband, Dad, Youth Pastor, Writer
Fresh Calling: Ministry Coaching and Consulting 
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