Conflict in the church isn’t new. From Paul confronting Peter in Antioch (Galatians 2:11-14) to the disagreement between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41), the New Testament is full of honest moments where even faithful followers of Jesus didn’t always see eye to eye. And while adults often wrestle with church conflict quietly or behind closed doors, teenagers experience it in real time—with open eyes, open hearts, and sometimes, open wounds.

As youth pastors and leaders, we must help teenagers not only understand conflict but learn to navigate it biblically and graciously. The way we guide them through tension in the church could determine whether they grow bitter or grow deeper in their faith.

1. Be a Calm and Christlike Presence in the Moment

When students bring you drama, tension, or gossip, your first job isn’t to fix it—it’s to listen. They don’t need your judgment or panic. They need your peace.

“A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”
— Proverbs 15:1 (CSB)

In the heat of the moment, the most powerful thing you can do is stay calm and remind them of who they are and whose they are. Ask questions that defuse, not escalate:

• “Help me understand what happened.”
• “What did you say or do in response?”
• “What would Jesus want for you in this?”

Sometimes, simply creating space for students to talk it through in a judgment-free zone brings clarity they couldn’t see in the fog of emotion.

2. Teach Them to Respond, Not React

Teenagers are wired to react emotionally. It’s our job to help them pause, pray, and process. James gives us a blueprint:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
— James 1:19 (NLT)

Whether it’s a friendship fight, social media post, or misunderstanding with a leader, students often want immediate resolution or retaliation. But spiritual growth happens in the space between reaction and response. Encourage them to breathe, reflect, and even journal before taking a step. Spiritual maturity is formed in those delays.

3. Model Humility and Peacemaking

Teenagers are watching how we handle disagreements behind the scenes. Do we speak with grace or grumble with resentment? Do we fight for our preferences or for unity?

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
— Matthew 5:9 (CSB)

Paul pleaded with the church in Ephesus:
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
— Ephesians 4:3 (NIV)

Don’t just teach peace—be a peacemaker. Talk openly about how you resolve tension with leaders, handle criticism with grace, or pursue hard conversations with love. Your example is one of the most powerful tools for forming emotionally healthy, spiritually grounded students.

4. Encourage Forgiveness Over Grudges

Teenagers are loyal—and sometimes that loyalty turns into bitterness. When a conflict arises, they might take sides, hold grudges, or ghost someone entirely. That’s where the gospel reshapes their response.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
— Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse sin; it frees the forgiver. When helping a student deal with church conflict—especially if they’ve been genuinely hurt—remind them that Jesus isn’t asking them to pretend nothing happened. He’s asking them to trust Him with their pain and imitate His mercy.

5. Point Them to Christ, Not Just a Solution

Sometimes, you can’t “fix” the situation—and you’re not supposed to. Our job isn’t just to bring resolution, but transformation. Even when apologies don’t come or outcomes remain messy, conflict can be a sacred space where students meet Jesus.

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
— Romans 12:18 (CSB)

Help them see that peace doesn’t always mean perfection—it means doing everything within their power to reflect Christ. Growth often happens after the conversation, after the tears, after the dust settles. Don’t rush it. Walk with them through it.

Final Thoughts

Teenagers won’t remember every sermon you preached. But they’ll remember how you helped them navigate the hardest stuff—especially when it involved people they trusted. Church hurt can wreck a young person’s faith… or it can drive them to a deeper relationship with the God who heals.

Let’s be youth pastors who create a culture where honesty, grace, and Christlike humility define our response to conflict. Because when we teach students how to handle hard things with the love of Jesus, we don’t just keep them connected to the church—we help them grow into it.

How do you handle conflict in the church? I’m guessing that as we are talking about helping students handle their conflict, some of you may be in the middle of conflict yourselves. How can I help you? Do you need an unbiased perspective? Set up a 1:1 Coaching session and let’s pray together. (The first session is free!)

Part 3: Training and Retaining Adult Leaders for the Long Haul

So, you’ve recruited some amazing adult leaders—congrats! That’s a big win, but the work doesn’t stop there. The next step is making sure they’re set up for success and equipped to stick around for the long haul.

Training and retaining leaders is all about creating a strong foundation, providing ongoing support, and building relationships. Oh, and one more crucial piece? Ensuring everyone goes through proper safety protocols. Let’s break it all down.

Set Them Up for Success

When someone joins my team, the first thing I want them to feel is confident and prepared. Nobody wants to walk into a role where they have no idea what’s expected of them.

Here’s how I make sure my leaders feel ready:

1. Background Checks and Ministry Safety Training: This is non-negotiable. Every leader on my team goes through a thorough background check, and they’re required to complete ministry safety training like MinistrySafe. It’s all about creating a safe environment for our students and building trust with parents.

2. Share the Vision: I always take time to explain the bigger picture of our ministry. What are we trying to accomplish? How does their role fit into that? When leaders understand the “why,” they’re more motivated and confident.

3. Set Clear Expectations: From weekly commitments to boundaries with students, I lay everything out upfront. Clear expectations make it easier for leaders to feel secure in their role and avoid potential missteps.

4. Provide Initial Training: Not everyone is naturally comfortable leading small groups or building relationships with teenagers. I host training sessions to teach the basics—everything from facilitating discussions to handling tough situations.

Keep Them Supported

Even the best leaders need support to keep going. If you want your team to stay strong, you’ve got to invest in them.

Here’s what I do:

• Regular Check-Ins: I make it a point to connect with my leaders monthly. Sometimes it’s a quick text or call, and sometimes we meet for coffee. It’s not just about ministry updates—it’s about asking, “How are you doing?”

• Team Meetings: Every so often, (About once a quarter) I bring the whole team together for a meeting. It’s a great way to build community, share wins, pray for each other, and tackle challenges as a group.

• Encourage and Celebrate: Whether it’s a shoutout during a meeting, a thank-you card, or a quick “You’re doing awesome” text, I try to celebrate my leaders as often as possible. Everyone likes to feel appreciated!

Help Them Grow

Nobody wants to feel stuck or stagnant in their role. That’s why I look for ways to help my leaders grow and develop.

Some ideas:

• Take on More Responsibility: I’ll invite leaders to help plan an event, mentor a newer volunteer, or lead a meeting. It keeps things fresh and helps them feel valued.

• Offer Feedback: Constructive feedback (delivered with kindness!) is a great way to help leaders improve and feel more confident in their abilities.

Relationships Are Key

At the end of the day, retention comes down to relationships. If your leaders feel connected to you, the students, and the team, they’re way more likely to stick around. That’s why I make it a priority to invest in those relationships—it’s not just about ministry; it’s about doing life together.

Your Turn

So, how do you train and retain your leaders? What’s worked for you, and what hasn’t? I’d love to hear your tips and stories—let’s keep learning from each other!

Part 2: What to Look for in Adult Leaders and How to Find Them

Let’s be real: recruiting adult leaders for youth ministry is tough. It’s not just about finding people who are willing to help—it’s about finding the right people. You know, the ones who can actually connect with students and stick around long enough to make an impact.

It took me a while to figure out what I should even be looking for in a leader. Once I nailed that down, the next step was figuring out where to find them (spoiler: they’re probably closer than you think). Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.

What Makes a Great Leader?

First of all, nobody’s perfect. So if you’re holding out for that unicorn of a leader who’s funny, wise, endlessly patient, and full of energy, you might be waiting a while. Instead, focus on finding people with the right heart.

Here’s my short list of what to look for:

• Someone who loves Jesus. This is non-negotiable. They don’t have to have a theology degree, but they do need a real relationship with Jesus that they’re willing to share.

• Someone who’s real. Teenagers can smell fake from a mile away. Your leaders don’t need to be trendy or extroverted—they just need to be authentic and willing to invest in students.

• Someone who shows up. Consistency is everything in youth ministry. You need leaders who keep their word and show up when it matters.

• Someone who can roll with it. Plans change. Kids are unpredictable. A good leader can adapt and laugh it off.

• Someone safe. This is huge. Leaders need to be trustworthy and create an environment where students feel protected—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Oh, and don’t forget about diversity. Having leaders of different ages, backgrounds, and personalities makes your team stronger. Plus, it gives students more chances to connect with someone they can relate to.

Where to Find Them

Okay, so you know what you’re looking for. Now, where do you actually find these magical people?

1. Pray First: This isn’t just a cliché. God has a way of leading you to the right people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve prayed for leaders and then suddenly thought of someone I hadn’t considered before.

2. Ask Your Students: Teens are great at pointing out who’s already making an impact in their lives. I’ve had students suggest adults I never would’ve thought of, and they turned out to be amazing leaders.

3. Talk to Your Current Team: Your existing leaders are goldmines for referrals. They know the role, and they can spot others who would be a good fit. Bonus: they can help with the recruiting process!

4. Make It Personal: Forget the pulpit announcements. That’s easy, and many times we revert to what is easy, but you don’t just want anyone! If you want someone to join your team, talk to them one-on-one. Share your vision and explain why you think they’d be great at it. A little encouragement goes a long way.

5. Look in Unexpected Places: Some of the best leaders I’ve ever had were older adults who didn’t think they “fit the mold.” Don’t overlook people who might not seem like the obvious choice—they could surprise you.

How to Ask Without Being Awkward

Here’s the thing: recruiting is basically sales. You’re asking people to give their time and energy to something they may not fully understand. That’s why it’s so important to explain the why.

When I talk to someone about joining the team, I don’t just say, “Hey, we need help with youth group.” I tell them why I think they’d be amazing at it. I share stories about what God is doing in our ministry and how they could be a part of it. And I give them space to think it over—I’m not here to pressure anyone into saying yes.

Pro tip: If someone’s unsure, offer them a small role to start. Sometimes dipping a toe in is all it takes for someone to realize they’re all-in. I’ve gotten a lot of amazing people just by asking them to serve pizza at youth group on a Wednesday night.

Your Turn

What about you? Do you have a go-to strategy for finding leaders, or are you still trying to figure it out? Share your thoughts—I’d love to hear what’s worked (or not worked) for you. Let’s swap ideas and make this process a little easier for everyone.

Part 1: Why Recruiting Adult Leaders Is So Challenging (and Why It’s Worth It)

If there’s one thing about youth ministry that I didn’t fully expect when I started, it’s how hard it can be to recruit adult leaders. I mean, it’s not like people are banging down the doors to sign up. And honestly, I get it—most people feel like they don’t fit the mold, or they’re worried about the time commitment.

Still, adult leaders are absolutely essential for a thriving youth ministry. So even though it’s one of the hardest parts of the job, I keep pushing through. And you know what? It’s totally worth it.

Why Is It So Tough to Find Leaders?

Let me paint a picture for you: I spot someone in the congregation who I think would make an amazing youth leader. I approach them after church, share the vision, and ask if they’d consider joining the team. Nine times out of ten, I get some version of this response:

• “Oh, no, I’m not cool enough to work with teens!”
• “I’m so busy; I just don’t have the time.”
• “Teenagers scare me.”

Sound familiar? It happens all the time. And I get it—working with teenagers can seem intimidating. Plus, there’s this stereotype that youth ministry is all about being young, trendy, and full of endless energy. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Here’s the thing: students don’t need someone who’s “cool.” They need someone who’s consistent. They want adults who show up, care about them, and are willing to listen. That’s it.

Another big challenge is the way people view youth ministry. A lot of folks think it’s just about organizing games or chaperoning events. What they don’t realize is that youth ministry is about relationships, discipleship, and helping students grow in their faith. It’s way more meaningful than it looks on the surface—but getting people to see that can take some work.

Why I Keep Going

As frustrating as recruiting can be, I’ve learned that it’s worth sticking with it. Watching adult leaders step into these roles and thrive is one of the coolest parts of my job. I’ve seen people go from “I don’t think I can do this” to “Wow, God is using me in ways I never imagined.”

And the impact on students? Incredible. A good leader can be a rock for students during one of the most chaotic times in their lives. They don’t have to have all the answers—they just need to be present. That consistency and care can make all the difference in a teenager’s life.

What About You?

So yeah, recruiting adult leaders isn’t easy, but I promise it’s worth the effort. If you’ve been in the trenches of recruiting, what’s been the hardest part for you? Or better yet, what’s worked for you? Let’s share ideas and help each other out—I’d love to hear your story! Comment below OR if you need some advice about your specific context, consider signing up for a 1on1 coaching session.

Stay tuned for Part 2 in this Recruiting Adult Leaders series.

Summer camp is more than games, lake time, and late-night snacks—it’s often the setting where students hear God’s voice the loudest. As hearts soften and distractions fade, decisions are made that will shape a student’s life forever. Some will trust Christ for the first time. Others will open up about hidden pain they’ve carried for years. Still others will feel called to ministry, healed from bitterness, or stirred to live more boldly in their faith.

And when that moment comes—when a student turns to you, eyes brimming with emotion—will you be ready? Will your volunteers?

Here’s a guide to help you and your leaders step into these sacred moments with confidence, care, and clarity.

1. Stay Present, Stay Calm

Your presence matters more than your words. Whether a student is weeping over sin, opening up about abuse, or asking how to follow Jesus, your calm, compassionate presence sets the tone.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” — Romans 12:15 (CSB)

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there. Listen. Nod. Pray silently as they talk.

Quick Tip for Leaders:

Coach your team to resist the urge to rush in with advice. The goal is to listen well before responding.

2. Leading a Student to Christ

There is no greater privilege than walking someone through salvation. When a student says they want to give their life to Jesus, here’s a simple way to guide them:

• Clarify: Ask what they understand about salvation. Make sure they know it’s not about trying harder, but trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior.
• Explain the Gospel Simply:
  • God made us to know Him.
  • REPENT: Our sin separates us from Him.
  • BELIEVE: Jesus died and rose to make a way back.
  • RECEIVE: We respond by turning from sin and trusting in Jesus.
• Romans Road:
  • Romans 3:23 – All have sinned.
  • Romans 6:23 – The wages of sin is death.
  • Romans 5:8 – Christ died for us.
  • Romans 10:9-10 – Confess and believe to be saved.
• Pray Together: Let them talk to God in their own words. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

Don’t forget to celebrate, affirm, and tell them: “This is the beginning, not the end.”

3. When Students Share Deep Emotional Pain

Some students will share experiences of abuse, depression, self-harm, or family trauma. These are moments that require sensitivity and wisdom.

What to Do:

• Listen First: Don’t interrupt. Let them talk.
• Believe Them: If a student shares about abuse, take it seriously.
• Be Clear About Confidentiality: Say something like, “I care about you and want to help. I may need to share this with someone who can help us take the next steps.”
• Report: If a student discloses abuse, you are legally and biblically responsible to report it to the appropriate authority or your camp director immediately.
• Don’t Counsel Alone: Bring in another trusted adult if needed. Always follow your camp and church’s child protection policy.

“Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22 (CSB)

4. Equip Your Volunteers

Not every volunteer will feel ready, but every volunteer can be equipped.

Here’s a simple pre-camp checklist to prepare your team:

• ✅ Train them on listening skills and spiritual conversations.
• ✅ Practice how to walk a student through salvation.
• ✅ Review how to handle a mandatory report of abuse.
• ✅ Give them a short response guide (printable card or phone note) to use when talking with students.
• ✅ Assign a point person (you or a trained adult) for any serious situations.

Encourage them that their role is not to fix, but to walk with students toward Jesus.

5. Plan for Follow-Up

Camp ends, but discipleship begins.

• Document Decisions: Keep track of each student’s spiritual decision or counseling moment.
• Tell Their Parents (as appropriate): Celebrate salvations, and sensitively loop in parents where needed.
• Connect Them to a Mentor: Pair students with a trusted adult for ongoing conversations.
• Publicly Celebrate (with permission): Baptism, testimony videos, or sharing at youth group helps solidify the decision.
• Keep Checking In: Plan a 2-week, 1-month, and 3-month follow-up for each student.

“Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” — Galatians 6:9 (CSB)

Final Encouragement:

Camp counseling isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being faithful with the moment you’ve been given. Your quiet presence, your humble listening, and your Spirit-led response can lead to someone’s forever being changed.

So youth pastor, take a breath. Pray for wisdom. Train your team. And get ready.
God’s about to move—and He’s invited you to be part of the story.

I would love to hear some of the strategies you use to equip yourself and your volunteers for this moment at camp. Comment below.