A Day in the Life of a Youth Pastor
Do you have students come up to you occasionally and ask… “What do you do?’ Oh the mystery of the Monday through Friday pastor. I guess they think we don’t do anything but sit around and wait for them to come back to church. You and I both know there are a lot of things we do though out the week. Planning. Meeting with Pastor. Guest follow up. Room clean up and set up. And so much more.
So in a response to some of the preconceived ideas many of them have, I made a instragram reel of a typical day of a youth pastor. It was a fun exercise and enlightening to those who watched it.
Here is the fun moment… I shot the video, but one of our students edited it and formatted it for me.
What do you do during the week? What does your follow up and preparation look like? Are you spending time with your wife and kids too? Leave a comment or book a coaching session with Steve to take a deep dive in the behind the scenes look at what a youth pastor does any given day.
First Love. Part 1.
“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more…” These lyrics from “Haddaway” (yes, that’s a little 80s trivia for ya!) are so catchy and for most of us we can sing it at any given moment. But as you read this lyrics we feel as though this is how love ought to be.. no hurt. Everything is rosey and seems like every moment is written out of a fairy tale. Love doesn’t look like a fairytale! Really!? So, the the girls in the room have this “fairy tale” love story going through our minds and have become hopeless romantics. Love doesn’t look like this in reality. Our world has twisted and skewed the definition of love. Made it romantic and perverted. The perfect definition of love can only be found in the arms of our Father in heaven.
You would think that we will be talking about romantic love in this series… but we’re NOT! We will be talking through what it really means to love others as Christ would love them. When in conflict or “life-changing” events arise, we need to make a choice to love FIRST. When “break ups” happen, and we want to throw the boy out the window! First love… not romantically, but in an agape God love kind of way. When we hear the news of parents getting a divorce… first love! When we get cut off in traffic by an impatient little punk!! First love.
How do you respond to others in your life? Are your words filled with so much sarcasm that your friends can’t tell if your serious or not? Is your heart filled to the top with selfishness that if a stranger came into your life, you wouldn’t give them the time of day!?
First Love. God’s love was at the very beginning. The creation of the world was a motivation of His love toward us. It was His love for us he made a way to deal with the penalty of our sin. It was His love that put Jesus on the cross. It was His love for us that defines who I am and why I was created.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NIV)
He first loved. Love is found in Him. He is the beginning of it. His heart is where love begins. Not in the heart of man, nor in the heart of another. Love begins with Him. He first loved.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 NIV
So convicting! This truth is taking root in my soul and creating a collision of faith!
Collision at the prayer wall.
In our student center we have a prayer wall. Most youth groups have a space where students can freely express their prayer concerns to the rest of the group anonymously. Thursday morning I was passing through and stopped to read some of the requests from Wednesday night. There was one request that captured my attention. “God help me to stay on the path. I don’t like being separated from you.” We’ve been talking over the past few weeks about how our sin separates and the cross bridges the gap our sin has created. My hope as a youth pastor is students would know and believe Jesus is the one true hope! This request broke my heart.
This is a collision of faith for me. I believe this prayer card speaks to my passion and calling as a youth pastor. I genuinely desire for students to find all they need in Christ and my calling is to lead them through the pages of scripture to discover His great love for them. Moments when I cry with a student over the mistakes of the past and leading them to a deep understanding of His grace cause me to dig deeper. Moments like this one at the prayer wall. When I weep over the simple request of this student to experience what a “right” relationship with God is.
There is no greater calling on the planet than to lead others to the Cross. What has been your experience? Have you had moments like mine? Collisions with the reality of the sin in this world and the beautiful grace of the Cross. He is in the business of making all things new. Renewing your heart and mine. Driving us to our knees in humility and burning a passion deep within us for teenagers. This calling is worth all the tears. It’s worth all the sleepless nights and hard conversations. To be used to make an impact in the lives of teenagers. There is no great calling.
I love student ministry.
Separation Anxiety. Desperate to be reunited. (Part 3)
The level of anxiousness we have in our relationship with God directly determines how desperate we are!
The shear amount of resources and training Search and Rescue Teams use is inspiring. These guys spend hours training and tons of resources to be ready when called on. When something important is missing, we’ll spend a ton of time, effort and resources to insure their return. And rightfully so! We should do everything in our power to reunite those who are lost. When searching, they are relentless. They will use every available resource to insure the lost are found. They can get pretty anxious in the search… and it motivates them to keep going.
In your relationship with God, how anxious are you to be with God? Is the separation of your sin bothering you? Making you anxious? I believe this anxiety we feel in our relationship with God is healthy. It’s the motivator we need to find the one thing that can satisfy this longing deep within.
Separation Anxiety. Desperate to be Reunited. (Part 1)
The distance between… I’d like to describe it as “anxiety.” Its the feeling of being separated from the one’s we love. When I was in high school, my father who was serving in the Air Force was called up to go to Kuwait… 6 weeks before the war became public. All I remember was a kiss on the forehead in the early morning hours. When I woke up, my mom told my brother and I he “had to leave.” For the next 6 weeks we didn’t know where he was. Just vanished. When all the news began to break about Desert Storm, we got a fuzzy phone call from my dad telling us where he was, and that he was not in harms way.
During these anxious 6 weeks of separation, my heart was filled with a constant tension. I wanted to know where he was, if he was hurting, I just wanted to be in his presence again. I knew in these moments what it feels like to be genuinely separated from the one you love.
Broken Bottles. Serving our students the best way we know how.
Reading John 12 this morning. Mary broke out her best perfume and used it to wash Jesus’ feet. Everyone in the room was struggling to figure out why she would waste such a precious commodity on the feet of Jesus. Really, feet are nasty! Especially for those walking around with sandals every day. Mary spared no expense and didn’t think twice to give away her best to Jesus.
I’m reminded in this story of the youth pastor. Really?! Youth pastors get a bad rap sometimes for just “winging it” and not doing the work of ministry with excellence. We need to use our best gifts to serve those we have been called to serve. We don’t need to bring our second best effort… bring our best effort. All these years and many times I catch myself only bringing what is necessary to just get by. But, the moments when I and my team do our work with excellence, our very best, I believe God is very pleased.
Excellence is not just spending more money or finding the newest technology to make our ministries better but rather, its taking the best of what we have been given and making the most of it. Don’t plan last minute. Don’t wing it. Take time to think. At all cost, do it with excellence. Bring your best to the feet of Jesus. Your students will respond, the parents in your ministry give trust and your volunteers will sing your praises.
Our ministries need to make room for the work of the Holy Spirit. When we work hard, plan, think and give our best, I believe God honors it with His presence. There is nothing I enjoy more in ministry than to see a student respond to the presence of God in the moment, knowing that I gave my very best to plan and prepare. That’s a collision I want to be a part of.
Bring your best to the feet of Jesus. Serve your students with excellence.
Mission Trip Collision!
You would think the title of this post would freak out any youth pastor taking a group of students on a mission trip. It’s July and for most of us we are fixing to head out into the wild blue yonder! (or getting back from) I’m leaving this weekend, headed to Dominican Republic and I’m really excited about it. I LOVE taking students out of the country! Why? Because, I have seen my share of collisions! Collisions of faith!
When a students steps foot on the soil of a foreign country… everything changes! All bets are off! It’s an instant collision. Their perspectives change and their small bubble of reality explodes. Their hearts become so moldable! When faced with the reality that God works outside their bubble of Church and in a world filled with people who have never heard the gospel, or even the name of “Jesus,” everything changes!
The conversations I have with students sitting outside a mud-filled hut in the middle of a tropical rain storm is so FUN!! The wheels are turning and their hearts are bending with humility. God is at work wrecking their reality. What a beautiful collision.
Several years ago, we were prayer walking a remote village in the middle of Dominican Republic. We came upon a house with an elderly couple. Through a translator we learn that the husband was blind. As we sat and talked with them on their front porch (3ftx 8ft porch), we discovered that he was an amazing domino player! Yeah, WHAT?! Dominos! So, one of my students spontaneously challenged him to a game of dominos. His wife set the table, and I’m not kidding, within the first 8 moves, he won! He would use his hands to count the dots on each piece on the board, then count the dots on his dominos and place them on the board. After the first three dominos, he started smiling knowing he was going to win! After an hour long visit with them, they allowed us to pray for them and sharing a very simple encouragement. “God is with you.” It was an amazing moment… an amazing collision of faith for the students walking with us that day! They will remember that moment for the rest of their lives!
Some of the greatest questions to ask students on a mission trip to help them process this “collision” of faith…
- Out of all the things you’ve experienced on this trip, what was your favorite? Why?
- What is the point of coming here? Why would God bring you to this remote place?
- Why is it so shocking to you to be here and to experience a new culture?
- Whats the difference between this culture and your school?
- What do you think God is teaching you while on this trip?
- What is going to be the first thing out of your mouth when your friends back home ask you about this trip? (“awesome” doesn’t count!)
I love the conversations, the looks on faces and some times, the tears. There is a separation that happens in the heart of a student… their reality of life, and what they are experiencing. When I journey with students on trips like these, I try my best to listen more than talk. Many times I get “busy” managing the safety of the students on the trip (although that is very important), and forget to have intentional moments with students asking some of these questions. I believe every high school students needs to spend at least one-week on the soil of another country (not the bahamas laying on a beach).
I’m really looking forward to spending the next 7 days in a tropical rain forest with no cell phone coverage, cold showers, and exotic meals with 43 students & adults! Let the collisions begin.
Stability in the midst of instability
Teenagers struggle through hard times. They seemingly wander through it hoping they are making the right decisions. For them, every heartache is the end of the world. Every disappointment is a disturbance in the force. So, how can the youth pastor be a pillar of stability that stands the test of time and storms?
1. Their crisis is not your crisis. I’ve heard this said all throughout my ministry from wise people, but never really understood what it meant. I have this tendency to leave my cell phone on 24 hours a day (yeah, it yours tendency too? wow.) There is always a crisis at 2am. Really? For many teenagers a good night sleep can cure a lot of hurt. But, the fact that a friend is mistreating them is not really a crisis at 2am. Have healthy boundaries with your cell phone… I have found the “do not disturb” setting so freeing! It’s not that we don’t care about what’s happening in their lives, we need to be wise in how effective we are in ministering in the middle of the crisis.
2. When in crisis be around. Now when a teenager is struggling through a long hospital stay… be there. One of my students had both his lung collapse and he nearly died. He was in the hospital for 8 weeks… yep, I was there 3-4 times a week. Every time I met with him, I looked him in the eye and told him I would see him later. Stability can be found in your faithfulness.
3. Make your programing consistent. Now, I believe in changing things up every now and then, but when we run a ministry built on faithfulness and consistency students begin to know you (your ministry) can be trusted. Students long for consistency in their lives and our ministries ought to be structured to be a sense of stability. Do your students know that every time you gather, someone is there ready to minister, pray and encourage them?
4. Be faithful. You have probably heard this question from one of your students…”Can you come to my band concert?” As you answer this question, be ready to follow up. If you say yes, be there (unless absolute emergency). If no, tell them why. But, our faithfulness and attendance builds stability and more importantly… trust.
Students need stability. Are you and your ministry set and ready to provide what they need? If you know me, I’m a very structured person and I’ve found in ministry students appreciate that about me. Parents of my students love it too! It’s stability.
Now, I’m off to an Eagle Scout Ceremony. I made a commitment to a student that I intend to keep.
BOOM!!
So excited to be able to begin this new journey! I’m not much of a writer but the Lord has been pressing me for far too long… so here it goes! Completely walking in faith and obedience. My hope with this blog is to share 20 years of youth ministry wisdom. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of mistakes, heartaches and plenty of smiles along the way!
Why “Collision of Faith?” That sounds tragic. I firmly believe youth ministry is a series of collisions. Where events of life and faith come together. Teenagers are trying to figure out where faith and real life come together. They’re asking questions through every life experience they encounter. “Where is God?” “I don’t understand why God would allow ______________.” I know the Lord has called me to serve students right in the middle of these COLLISIONS! As they journey through life, how does faith fit in? I want to be there to help guide them, cry with them, and share the love of Christ as they are working out their faith. Helping them discover a loving, caring God who desires to be in the middle of their lives. It’s a collision… and I want to be there at the point of impact to lead them to a deeper understanding of their faith and a loving God.
So, this blogging journey begins. Let’s share life together. Let’s wrestle with youth ministry, and discover together how we can glorify the Lord with every moment.
Husband, Dad, Youth Pastor, Writer
Fresh Calling: Ministry Coaching and Consulting 
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